The bronze goes to good old Lonesome Rhodes himself, the lame duck Glenn Beck of Fixed News. And of all the theories as to why he's exiting, stage right, the only plausible one not being widely advanced, is that he's just run out of bull..
You may have heard about his rant Friday in which his X-Files like unintelligible mondo-conspiracy mutuated yet again. While pointing at a photograph - apparently of William Ayers - Becky said, quote:
"We have an FBI agent who infiltrated his Weather Underground who said: they will kill 25 million Americans."
That the supposed threat was supposedly made 41 years ago and nobody was ever charged for it, and The Weather Underground doesn't exist, doesn't stop Glenn. Time does not exist for the paranoid.
But more interestingly, perhaps, was his follow-up. Quoting Beck again:
"What did Octavia do in Rome? I really truly believe the 'O' in Obama should be Octavia. He was the first Roman Emporer."
This goes to my point about Beck running out of bull. He called this emporer "Octavia" four times. The first Roman Emporer was Augustus, also known as Octavian. Octavia was Octavian's sister. And Octavia is also the name of a town in Nebraska.
Conspiracy theories are much, much better if you get the names right, and they don't pivot on stuff that only one man says happened back in 1970.
The runner-up: Tennessee State Senator Stacey Campfield, Republican of Knoxville, who once again proves my theory that we are not paying our public servants enough, we're losing the good candidates to McDonald's.
Mr. Campfield is the man so terrified of homosexuality that he introduced a bill that would make it illegal for a teacher from even referring to the subject in front of kids who are in the eighth grade, or earlier.
He cleverly gave the bill a nickname, The "Don't Say Gay" bill - even as one of his Republican Colleagues pointed out that Tennessee already has legislation fueled by hate and fear, prohibiting such teaching.
Senator Campfield was challenged to a debate by a Gay Rights' Activist, and replied, "I will happily debate you. I require a one thousand dollar retainer fee and all expenses covered." This guy's trying to profit off his hatred - and as usual, that's where the Radical Right drives off the cliff. Apparently in asking for cash to discuss Senate business, Senator Campfield is in violation of state ethics rules, and under one interpretation, he's soliciting a campaign contribution while the Senate is in session - which is against Tennessee law.
By the way, I think it is safe to just assume that when a legislator, male or female, concocts a law that would codify his or her hatred, they're really motivated by some moment when, to their own horror, they were attracted to somebody of the same sex. Let's just assume that's what this bozo did and think of that every time we think of his bill.
But our winner - somebody trumping even that level of hate: State Senator Bruce Caswell of Michigan.
He has proposed that foster children in Michigan should only be permitted to spend their state-funded clothing allowance in thrift stores. Quoting this man who would have made the Dickens character Wackford Squeers, who profited off unwanted children, cringe: "I never had anything new. I got all the hand-me-downs. And my dad, he did a lot of shopping at Salvation Army, and his comment was - and quite frankly it's true - once you're out of the store and you walk down the street, nobody knows where you bought your clothes."
Let's skip the photograph of Senator Caswell and the evidence that he's not only still buying his clothes there but also cutting his own hair at home. Consider for a moment that little life lesson from Caswell Senior: "once you're out of the store and you walk down the street, nobody knows where you bought your clothes."
So why subject foster kids, who already have a sense of vagrancy in their lives when their biggest worry should be about getting their homework done, to being told they're not good enough to get a new pair of shoes, or underwear?
Obviously Caswell must see an opportunity for this scheme to save Michigan some money, somehow.
To quote from a local news report: "Caswell says the gift card idea wouldn't save the state any money."
Which means Mr. Caswell is just doing this to hurt and traumatize foster children. He doesn't belong in the State Senate. He doesn't belong in this country. He certainly doesn't belong around kids.
Which makes this additional fact more horrifying than any of the others. His pre-governmental career? Bruce Caswell was a school teacher, a school superintendent, and as a track coach, and high school assistant football coach, is a member of Michigan's High School Coaches Hall of Fame. And if that organization doesn't expel him immediately, it should be de-funded.
Bruce "Are there no prisons, are there no workhouses" Caswell, the Worst Person of the Day!